Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Where there is love, there is life”. The choice to get into a relationship,the choice to love someone, is a momentous decision. Love can give life, or it can be suffocating. There is no shortage of media ,specifically romance novels, portraying toxic relationships.
There is The Cruel Prince. A novel that portrays the male main character bullying and sexually harassing the female main character before they start a relationship. The female main character also forces the male main character against his will under her control. Neither partner treated the other respectfully initially, yet they do assume a more or less equal relationship by the time the trilogy that The Cruel Prince is a part of ends. The trilogy does develop both of the characters so that they do learn from their prior actions before starting a relationship. However, they do not apologize for them. Then there is the Twilight Saga. It has been criticised numerous times for the toxic relationship between the main couple, and I will not rehash that here. I will simply say that the book portrays Bella,the female main character, as almost completely dependent on Edward Cullen ,the main male character. Bella fell into depression after Edward left her life temporarily in the first book. She was also desperate to become a vampire just like Edward, mainly because she glorified being a vampire without seeing the potential consequences. Meanwhile, Edward acts possessive over Bella,stalks her, and even sabotages her car to prevent her from going outside.
While these books have unpleasant relationships, at the end of the day, the target audience for the prior examples is young adult audiences. Thus, these books are calibrated not be too inappropriate or taboo. The real problem comes when teenagers read books from the adult section. One such book is Haunting Adeline by H. D Carlton. As a high school student, I have seen people my age reading this novel mainly because it was trending on TikTok. I have seen a girl walking the hallways at my school holding a heavily sticky-noted copy of the book. One of my close friends read the book because it was trending and she wanted to “torture” herself. I even talked to my cousins who live in India. And even they mentioned students at their school reading Haunting Adeline. According to the author’s website, the trigger warnings are explicit sexual situations,mentions of child death, human trafficking,child trafficking,graphic violence, sacrifice, and stalking. The main character even rapes the female main character. Of course, no repercussions to the male main character whatsoever. They even get into a relationship. No punishment at all for being a stalker and a rapist. Looking at the trigger warnings, it is no wonder that this is in the adults’ section. Is this really something high schoolers should be reading?
From stalking to sexual harassment, it seems like everything can be forgotten and forgiven so easily because of love, and any immoral action done by the other person in the relationship is forgotten as long as…..LOVE!
Due to this somewhat inaccurate portrayal of toxic relationships, it is important to underscore the real impacts of a toxic relationship, unlike what is portrayed in fairy tales. According to the Sierra Vista Hospital blog, toxic relationships can cause chronic stress, low self-esteem, and weakened physical resilience, among others. Depression is even seen in New Moon when Bella has depression after Edward is gone. She even has suicidal ideation. Any of those factors is enough to harm a relationship. Forget about a sustainable long-term relationship.
Love is supposed to give life. It is not supposed to be suffocating. We all have our different definitions for love. Even so, we should not glorify toxic love. Despite books theoretically being said as meant for adults, that does not stop teenagers from reading them. If anything, that means we must set our definitions for love. Perhaps learn what it truly is.
Image Credit: Mindshift.zone
Leave a Reply